Why aren’t you reading Cracked.com?

The very first article I read on Cracked.com was 5 Ridiculous Things You Probably Believe About Islam.

Well, if there’s one thing everyone thinks of when they hear “Cracked.com” it’s “friend of Islam.” Which is why we feel compelled to clarify a few misconceptions for our readers. Also, there is no way this article will ever come back to haunt us in any way.

Fortunately, I did not believe these things, though I’m fairly certain some people do (just check the comments if you have any doubts). I did, however, learn a few things more. Oh, and I laughed quite a bit.

Thus was my love for Cracked.com born.

I regularly post articles from this site and every now and then, someone will comment about how informative the article is and express their surprise, believing Cracked.com to be a mere humour site. Don’t get me wrong, Cracked.com is nothing if not funny, but you don’t have to look too deeply to find the facts in their posts. (Hint, the titles of the articles are usually to the point.) They cover a wide range of topics, from history (lol you believed that!), to psychology (lol you believed that!), to biology (ass kicking mice!), to entertainment (the ominous world of gaming!, why Hollywood movies suck!), to sexism (even in a galaxy far, far away!) to current (fend off those crazies Takei marriage haters!) and/or odd (ass kicking grandmas and cyclists!) news to parenting (make your kid smarter in 5 simple steps!), to dating, (Scott+Jean forever!) to social commentary (we’re screwed!), to zombies (the CDC was wrong!), to boobies (boobies!).

Pictured: boobies!

Many of the topics are quite serious, such as 6 Species We’ve Nearly Killed Off (For Retarded Reasons), which, well, describes how we are killing animals for retarded reasons. But they do it with a snarky comment or two that makes us laugh. As LM points out, Cracked.com is “the best way to laugh at depressing lists.” They offer a refreshing and enlightening view on the issues affecting us and even offer a way out, if we weren’t too busy surfing the internet to notice.

My favourite are the nature posts where Cracked.com reveals the holy-fuck-seriously??? side of nature that Wild Kingdom kept safely hidden from us so as not to give us nightmares. Their article on evolving animals inspired me to further research, leading me to more respectable sites like National Geographic, which did not have nearly as much information on pizzlies as Cracked.com did.

The best way to learn about pizzlies is to kill them.

A close runner up would be the articles about movies that reveal the holy-fuck-seriously??? side of Hollywood. I’ve also learned a lot about feminism and how Joss Whedon is not it from Cracked.com.

If you don’t enjoy reading things on the internet, the editors of Cracked.com have kindly put some of their greatest works into book form (sadly, without the colourfully captioned pictures and clickable links).

* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.
* The FDA wouldn’t let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.
* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.
* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.
* Think you’re going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions10 seconds before you even know what they are.

“In a sea of literary lies, finally a book that will tell you the TRUTH about the things you need to know.” ā€“ Sarah Silverman

Anyone following me will find it in their best interest to click those many links I provide. I promise that you will not be disappointed. If Rogert Ebert can learn to appreciate it, so can you.

“People keep sending me links to Cracked.com, and gradually I’m realizing it’s smart, funny and cool.” ā€“ Roger Ebert


3 thoughts on “Why aren’t you reading Cracked.com?

  1. Great post and great sense of humour as always! I do think its a pretty cool site myself and I love your style of writing (with sarcasm and wit in brackets!) :p


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