The Three Musketeers … again

I was about to file this under “OhgawdAGAIN???” but as the trailer progressed, I became shamefully curious.

The first thing that grabbed me was the fact that it does not star any big name actors (no, Orlando Bloom, you are not a big name actor. Everyone was happy when you were killed in POTC, and wished that you had stayed that way for the rest of the film. Thank you for not coming back for the fourth, and keeping your “king” with you.) Upon closer inspection, I realized that I did recognize many of the actors and actually like them. They are the That Guys in movies that you remember, even when the movies themselves suck. Like That Guy from Clash of the Titans who made the movie slightly more watchable. Or That Guy from Pillars of the Earth that showed up in Robin Hood, along with similar opening sequence art that convinced me that Ridley Scott is a very pragmatic filmmaker.

I assume there is a plot. Shouldn’t be hard to maintain one, what with there already being an established story and characters that most of us who saw the 1993 Disney version already know. So there was no need to bog down the trailer with any of that crap. Instead, there was lots and lots of explosions, an epic highway car chase, giant robots and lots of sword fighting. I wondered if Michael Bay was involved, but surely he’s busy swimming in money while he works out “ideas” for Transformers 4, 5 and 6.

Nope, turns out it’s Paul W.S. Anderson, which in turn explains why Milla Jovovich is slow motion kicking and sliding (in a big ol’ Victorian dress, just to shake things up a little) all over the place. You go, Milla! If the Backyardigans and Barbie have taught us anything, it’s that girls can be Musketeers too!

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2 thoughts on “The Three Musketeers … again

  1. very funny and just enough celebrity bashing to keep me happy! Orlando Bloom is very nice to look at but doesn't have the talent of Johnny Depp and I don't miss him in the Pirates movies at all. And I think 3 Musketeers has been done to death, I have no intention of seeing a third version!Doesn't Hollywood have any decent writers with ORIGINAL ideas?

    Like

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